Pain (Curse of the Gods Book 5) Read online

  Did I have to be defective in everything I did?

  A throat cleared nearby and Siret stepped into view. It looked as though he’d been standing in the next room, waiting.

  “I think when we figure out what sort of god you are, we’ll figure out your colour.” His words were quiet, but they held me in their thrall.

  The deep thrum of his voice was enough to suspend all thought. Yael swept me into his arms, and I went willingly. He carried me across to where Siret was, and I caught a glimpse of high ceilings and an open and airy living area with a roaring fireplace before I was in the doorway to a bedroom. I assumed that the fireplace was to accommodate for the sudden appearance of snow in Topia.

  “Not a bedroom, Rocks,” Yael corrected one of my errant thoughts. “The bedroom. There’s only one in this house. We’re all going to stay together.”

  Siret stepped aside and allowed Yael to carry me over the threshold, and I turned my head so I could take it all in. The bed was giant. The entire room was basically a bed, from wall to wall. I wiggled to get down, and Yael slowly lowered me to my feet, allowing my curves to slide across every hard plane of his body as I descended. By the time my feet hit the thick white rug on the floor, I was breathless and my body was throbbing with need.

  I remained plastered to Yael’s front, and when Siret stepped in and boxed me in from behind, my head went into a dizzying spin.

  This was my thing. Above all else. The feel of two hard bodies pressed against mine, of being surrounded. It got to me in a way that nothing else ever could.

  “What’s …” I started breathlessly. “What’s in that door?”

  I couldn’t point because my hands were trapped at my sides, but they followed my line of sight.

  “Bathing chamber,” Siret rumbled, pressing his lips to the sensitive spot beneath my ear.

  “And—” I choked on the words, forgetting what I was about to say as the hard length of Siret pressed right along my ass.

  “The other one is a wardrobe.” Yael figured out what I wanted to ask. “All of our robes are in there now.”

  What were we talking about? Robes? I was too turned on to be thinking about clothing … unless it was about removing them.

  “You’re supposed to hand her over to me.” Siret lifted his head. “You lost the bet.”

  Yael growled. “The bet was rigged and you fucking know it. Besides, Willa doesn’t seem to mind both of us being here.”

  My head had cleared a little because I wasn’t being completely overwhelmed by their lips dragging over my skin anymore. They were looking over my head, doing their competitive arguing thing—or Yael’s competitive arguing thing.

  “Was there something else you were going to show me?” I asked, hoping to defuse the tension.

  Yael closed his eyes briefly, and I watched as he fought for control. I couldn’t see Siret, but I sensed he was doing the same thing. They both stepped away from me at the same time, and then it felt like a flood of oxygen filled the room.

  “I’ll leave you with Siret,” Yael said, swooping in for one more hard kiss. He basically demanded I give him my lips, and I obliged. His tongue swept across mine, his hands dragging up my arms to my face, and then he was gone.

  My legs were a little wobbly as I turned toward Siret, blinking up at him stupidly.

  “Really not sure I’m going to survive the five of you,” I admitted, shaking my head to try and clear it.

  He laughed. “You match us perfectly. There’s no one else who would be able to take on all five of us at once, but you do it as though you were made for it, and you make it seem like we were made for it. You’re going to survive. We’ll make sure of it.”

  His words brooked no argument. I was surviving no matter what. Sometimes I wondered if my heart would swell so much that one sun-cycle it would just burst from my chest.

  “So, what did you have to show me in here?” I whispered, my voice lost.

  Siret’s hand came up to cup my chin and cheek, and he smiled his wicked grin. “What? The house isn’t enough? We put at least thirty clicks of time and thought into this design.”

  I snorted, pressing myself closer. “I love it. The fireplace, the comfy couches, the huge bed. It’s perfect. But … I know there’s something more. This elaborate scavenger hunt you’ve got set up here, passing me off to one of you after another …”

  I trailed off, hoping he was about to jump in and fill in the blanks.

  Instead of answering, he began to walk me toward the door that Yael had said led to a wardrobe.

  “Since the party is only a sun-cycle away,” Siret murmured from behind me, letting me lead the way into the room. “We figured you’d need something to wear.”

  My feet ground to a halt and I blinked in surprise at what I was seeing. The room was huge, and it almost looked like it had been colour-coded. Dark grey robes were first, filling a quarter of the right side, then blue robes. The left side was green and gold, and then at the back there were purple robes. I knew my section immediately, because there were robes of multiple colours. White, which I still favoured; pink, courtesy of Crazy-pants; teal; and magenta as well. I liked having a colour selection to choose from. Part of me wondered if one would eventually just feel right if I tried enough of them.

  “I’m wearing robes to the party?” I asked, confused.

  Siret clapped his hands, and there was a whirring sound before the section with my robes in it started to rotate. Within a click, the robes had disappeared and a single outfit appeared on a dweller-shaped mannequin.

  “We all designed this one together,” he said softly, pressing a hand into my lower back and urging me forward.

  I rushed toward it, loving it for the fact that they had worked on it together for me.

  Examining it closely, I sensed that a part of Siret was worried about my response. I placed my right hand on the shoulder, letting my hand run along the supple material.

  “Leather,” I murmured. “That’s not what I expected.” He settled in at my side, and I turned my head to meet those glittering green eyes. “It’s amazing,” I told him. I had expected a fancy dress. My guys were notorious for dressing me in breathtakingly unique dresses and gowns … which usually ended up completely destroyed within half a sun-cycle.

  Maybe that was why they hadn’t this time.

  The leather jumpsuit was formfitting, sleek, and dark, with patches of their colours sewn across it. I would go out there the next sun-cycle looking confident and strong, with little patches of green, gold, blue, grey, and purple all over me.

  “We wanted you to look like the badass we know you are,” Siret explained. “And you’ll be able to run and fight with ease. And,” he laughed, “as an added bonus, it’s fire resistant and will repel any physical attacks. This leather was gifted to us by the panteras. They didn’t tell us which animal it came from, but they did tell us that it was very rare and would protect against physical attacks.”

  I shook my head, my hand still stroking across it. “I’ll bet the moment you all heard the word protect, you didn’t even listen to which animal it was or any of the other details.”

  They would have jumped on it.

  His arm wrapped around me, and I leaned into him. “I love you,” I told him. “And this is perfect.”

  For someone who had barely used the L-word in my life, I certainly threw it around a lot now. But … I did love them. Every single Abcurse was branded in my heart and soul. I couldn’t survive without them. That was the one thing I knew for certain, and we were about to embark on the darkest part of our journey so far. A lot rested on the party to come. On my ability to convince other gods to turn against Staviti.

  I wouldn’t let everyone down. I would be enough.

  Two

  I needed to send the panteras a cake, made of whatever it was they ate. Knowledge, I assumed. The leather of my outfit was the softest, most supple thing I’d ever had on my body. It was almost as good as being naked.

  “Holy f
uck,” Rome groaned. “You need to get her out of that immediately. I can’t see her walking around like that all night.”

  Five sets of eyes stared at me as I paraded in front of the reflective glass inside our huge bathing room. There hadn’t been time for a cascading waterfall bath—since I had needed to try the outfit on as soon as possible—but I already had plans for one later that night.

  I ran my hands along the sides of my outfit, tracing down the leather. It had been made to fit me exactly, cupping my ass and making my legs look longer than they were. There were buttons to secure the bodice. I had left a few undone, and for once my boobs were really working for me. The sleeves were long, cutting off at my wrists, providing me with all-over protection. There was even a pair of calf-high boots to go over the top of the leather pants.

  “I love it.” I sighed.

  Emmy ducked her head around the corner then, pushing through the Abcurses like they were annoying puppies. Her fear of them—and gods in general—seemed to have diminished entirely. Maybe it was because she was a kickass Goddess of Fertility now, as we had recently discovered. Or maybe it was because she had shacked up with Cyrus, who was a very scary god all on his own.

  “You look amazing!” she exclaimed, striding closer.

  I couldn’t remember ever being as happy as I was in that moment, having Emmy back in my life, as strong and beautiful as any god, and having the Abcurses.

  “I just came to say goodnight,” Emmy told me, her hands finding mine and holding them between us. “And I wanted to see if you liked your house.”

  “I love it,” I promised her, pulling her into a tight hug. “It reminds me of—”

  “I know.” I could hear the smile in her voice as she squeezed me one last time before letting me go. “We’re sending Donald over tonight. She gets to stay with you now … and probably a good thing too, because I think Cyrus is about to have her dismantled for parts.”

  She made a face as she pulled away, but I could see the slight flush in her cheeks as she spoke about Cyrus. I stared after her even when she disappeared through the bathing room door and I could no longer see her. It wasn’t until Siret stepped into my field of vision that I snapped out of my daze.

  “Do I need to threaten Cyrus?” I asked my guys, including each of them in the question.

  Rome and Coen were leaning side by side against the raised bath, their arms crossed over their chests as they watched me. Yael was leaning against the wall beside the reflective glass that I had been using to see my new outfit from all possible angles.

  Aros was by the door, running both hands through his golden hair as though fighting the urge to tie it all back from his face. It had grown longer in the time that I had known them, while the others all kept their hair short. His was now falling in an unkempt way, the ends just past his ears. The overall effect was somehow both dishevelled and extremely alluring.

  “What has he done now?” Siret asked, touching my elbow.

  I tore my attention from Aros, looking back into the familiar forest-green gaze of Siret, my body leaning toward him, drawn by the swirling gold patterns through his irises.

  “Nothing,” I admitted, as his hands slipped up both of my arms and I laid my head against his chest. “But Emmy might be falling in love with him. I don’t want her to get hurt again. Cyrus is … the worst.”

  “He won’t hurt her,” Yael replied from the window. “We’ve known Neutral all our lives and we’ve never seen him claim another being in the way he has claimed Dweller-Emmy.”

  I sighed, giving a slight nod as I began to shrug out of the leather bodysuit. Yael and Siret both stepped forward to help me, their hands gliding easily beneath the material to push and shift it down my limbs. I laid a hand on their shoulders as they rolled it down my legs and I stepped free. I was now almost completely naked, save for the whisper-thin silk underwear that had been designed to go beneath the tight leather. Either Rome or Coen groaned, both of them pushing up from the side of the bath—but it was Aros who spoke, his tone almost sharp as he pulled the door wide.

  “It’s time to eat.”

  We all turned to look at him—some of us in surprise, me in confusion, Yael in challenge—but he only cast one last glance at me before striding out of the room. I walked after him, but Siret caught me in the doorway, his hand on my arm.

  “As much as I hate to cover you up,” he whispered, his power shivering over me, “I think the tension might be a little too high tonight.”

  I glanced down as delicate black silk settled over my skin: a short robe that ended at my thighs and had a thick silk sash now covered my underwear. I nodded my understanding to Siret and walked into the main living area, finding Aros already seated at the marble table, his golden eyes wiped of emotion as we all cautiously approached. I had grown used to mood swings from Yael, regular mischief from Siret, and grouchiness from Rome … but Aros being anything but smooth and happy was a complete novelty for me.

  I opened my mouth to ask if everything was alright, but Coen caught my eye as he walked around Aros and claimed his own seat. He shook his head silently, obviously reading the intention on my face. Puzzled, I took my seat. I started to wonder where Donald was, and as with every time my mother popped into my head, so did her thoughts.

  Sacred Asshole, not Sacred One. Must say Asshole. Must say Asshole. Must say Asshole. Asshole is right, Sacred is wrong.

  “Donald?” I called.

  Willa.

  She popped into being almost immediately, standing right in the centre of our table. There was a rotation of servers assigned to each specific sector of Topia at any given time, but none of us trusted Staviti or his servers anymore, so we had been using Donald for everything. She managed to slip in and out of wherever it was servers went completely unnoticed and unaccounted for. It was a skill.

  “Greetings, Sacred Abil’s sons and Sacred Willa.” She made a small bowing motion before turning her attention fully toward me. It wasn’t lost on me that she called me Sacred Willa aloud, but just Willa in her head.

  “We’ll have the same thing as the last sun-cycle,” I told her.

  The Abcurses liked to eat, but I liked to order. Well, and eat. I liked most things to do with food.

  “Yes, Sacred One. I will bring the extra table.” She disappeared then, reappearing a moment later with a second table, because my last food order had been too large for our immediate available surfaces.

  I glanced at Aros out of the corner of my eye. He was sitting at the head of the table to my right, glowering at the wall, apparently lost in his own thoughts. Coen had clearly warned me away from asking him about what was wrong, but I had never been very good at following rules, and I certainly wasn’t going to start now. I stood up, took the two steps needed to reach Aros’s chair, and gently lowered myself onto his lap, my hands finding the sides of his face. He didn’t push me off or snap at me, and for a moment I was almost convinced that I had imagined his foul mood, until the sides of his mouth suddenly dipped down.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  “It isn’t good for us to subdue our natural states,” he explained—somehow managing to explain nothing at all.

  “That’s why Strength and Pain are always so grumpy,” Siret offered. “They’re constantly having to suppress their powers.”

  I had turned my head at the sound of Siret’s voice, but I quickly turned back now, arching my brows at Aros. I understood the message: Siret and Yale were still allowing their powers to leak out, as they always did, but Aros had begun to suppress his in the same way that Coen and Rome suppressed theirs … and there was only one reasonable explanation as to why.

  “Because of me,” I realised miserably. “I don’t want you to be in pain because of me.”

  “It’s not painful,” Aros assured me, though he still hadn’t made a move to touch me.

  I dropped my hands from his face to his shoulders, sliding them along the tense muscles that bunched beneath my touch. We were close enough th
at I could have kissed him and forced a reaction of some kind, but I was connected to the Abcurses in more than one way, and I knew, somehow, that it would be a bad idea. Instead, I hopped off his lap and surveyed Rome and Coen. They sat beside each other, taking up one whole side of the table. I decided to tackle what I considered the biggest problem first, and tapped Rome on the shoulder. He pushed his chair back a little, giving me enough room to sit on his lap. I turned my back on him, resting against the solid length of his chest and pulling his arms around to circle me in.

  “Crush,” I ordered.

  “What the fuck?” he growled, immediately moving to shift his arms away.

  I grabbed hold of him, forcing him to keep his position. In reality, I couldn’t really force him to do anything, but Rome reacted to even the slightest amount of pressure from me. He was proving Aros’s point—they were constantly restraining themselves around me. All of them except Siret and Yael, whose powers didn’t harm me in any way.

  “Don’t hold back,” I pleaded with Rome, keeping my voice low. I was aware that I was speaking in a way so as not to spook him, as though he was the frightened animal and I was the predator.

  The thought made me smirk, and across the table Siret’s smile matched mine. The derisive grumble that travelled through the warm body behind me confirmed that they had heard my thought.

  “This isn’t happening, Rocks.” Rome’s voice was stern.

  Donald appeared again in that moment, laying down dish after dish with pitchers of drink and platters of cheesy bread. Our table filled up and then the second table filled up. Nobody made a move to eat. Donald stood there watching, probably trying to figure out what had gone wrong. It wasn’t normal for us to restrain ourselves at dinner time. She disappeared and then reappeared again with a single piece of cheesy bread. She placed it on an already overfull platter and stood back, frowning. Still, none of us moved. We were all waiting to see who would break first—me, or Rome.

  Donald disappeared again and reappeared with an open torch. She held it over the cheesy bread and then extinguished it, standing back, her frown growing. I was just about to ask her to stop when she disappeared once more. She popped back into the room accompanied by the squeal of a mudhog—a short, stocky animal with a wrinkled snout and leathery pink skin. She was leading it by a rope.